January 2012
34 posts
1. Post a Facebook update wishing everyone a happy...
2. Only your friends’ moms comment :(
December 2011
33 posts
NYE
French Girl: Hello. Me: Hi, happy New Year! French Girl: No, not yet. Me: Well, I mean, not yet, but people are already saying it. French Girl: (blank stare) Me: Like if you go out or to the store or something people are going to wish you a happy New Year. French Girl: Oh. … I hate this.
Just a normal thing for some guy to Fbook message...
“Hey! Question. I prolly shouldn’t ask it but I’ve been drinking and right now it sounds like an awesome idea. Why can’t I seem to get a second date? I went on dates with two other guys after you and never got a second date. Of course I didn’t really want one from them cuz one was annoying as all hell an the other was dumb as rocks but still! Lol anyway….I...
Just walked into a spiderweb
This would never happen in 2012. FUCK THIS YEAR.
"Well nice talking to ya gotta hit del taco"
^ Why do I even attempt dating…?
Mistake: writing Xmas cards after taking a sleep...
“Dear Uncle Howard!” was not the best way to start that card.
1 tag
I am experiencing cable again
At my aunt and uncle’s house for the first time in a year. Not only is there now a Chia Obama, but I’ve been reminded of the glorious phrase, “bikini area,” which I’ve never heard outside of an infomercial. Bikini area. I hope doctors say that to women a lot.
“Would you have sex with Ryan Gosling if he was your mom on the inside?”
– (via molls)
I will never get over this quote my friend...
Dumb Club Gay #1: Hey! Want to sponsor me in the AIDS walk? Dumb Club Gay #2: …I don’t have AIDS…
Dear Coke Talk: On fun sized advice. →
dearcoketalk:
I just graduated from college. Now what? Start killing your dreams.
I deleted the clock off of my iPhone?
I didn’t even know you could do that. Touché, drunk Jack.
“my 7-year-old sister: When I get married I’m gonna have a blue dress, with...”
– (via extrafirmhold)
I think I'm going to get someone a Magic Eye book...
1 tag
"If I can remember two of your names, you can...
- Me, to a drag queen who forgot my name
