February 2012
49 posts
I never grew up eating asparagus.
I had it for the first time like a month or two ago. That first full second of concern and panic when I pee later is kind of priceless.
Fuck yeah! My wild, carefree single days are here!
Just bought steak for dinner and am now eating it in the parking lot in case I choke so I don’t die alone in my apartment! Yeaaaa! Setting my watch to ME time!
1 tag
Nailed it
1. Crush teases you about your tattoo.
2. Drunkenly tell him to fuck off and walk away.
I don't know which is my lowlight of the week
Eating the insides of a Subway sandwich out of the bread last night because I am allergic to yeast, OR, yelling, “STOP IT!!!” just now to an obtrusive flash ad on Hype Machine as if it were my older brother.
:sets fire to the rain:
What does an Adele concert even look like?
It’s like the only place you’ll run into your mom, coworker, frenemy, first grade teacher, club hook-up, little sister, ex-boyfriend, your ex-boyfriend’s ex-boyfriend, garden gnome, deceased pet, etc.
This is how well I do at networking events
1. Enthusiastic 15 minute conversation with the first person I meet.
2. Fucking exhausted the rest of the time.
1 tag
Cultured
Flight Attendant: Here you go Sweetie (hands over a mini bottle of Jack, Rum, and Sprite)
Me: Oh, I mix this myself???
Flight Attendant: Yeah, Sweetie, this isn't a bar...
Me: Ooooooooh....Okay!
The Art of Masculinity
You know you’re tough when the mechanic calls you “babe” and you’re a guy.
1 tag
"You remind yourself that, for a certain niche,...
charlespudding:
- Brandon Davis
Woo it's pajama day at work tomorrow!
At the fantasy company I founded in my head.
Sincerely, Jackintheblog President and CEO
1 tag
It's so awkward being an atheist when something...
“Oh yeah, I’ll keep you in my secular humanist thoughts…”
Sometimes you want something TOO badly and you end...
Talkin about brunch here
I have 10 minutes to make my bed and get drunk
Ahhh Saturday night stresses!
omg why is Facebook always trying to ruin my life
This rando I barely know messaged me on Fbook chat just now after posting on my wall earlier today about wanting to hang out. Did I mention that I only know him through someone I’m no longer friends with (who is a complete asshole), and I’ve probably seen him once in the last 7 months…?
Anyway, he just got done telling me how he has had scabies the last few days. When I told him...
Whenever I see the word "webisode" I recoil in...
Just started typing an email to the IT guy
About how I can’t send any emails. :cancel: